How to survive a long distance relationship
At the heart of any relationship, lies the feelings of mutual trust and understanding. The couple likes to spend time in each other’s company and get to know each other. This, in turn, helps to strengthen the relationship. It is the duration of the relationship coupled with the amount of quality time spent together that decides how deep the roots of the relationship run.
Now, not all couples are lucky to live at a stone’s throw from each other. Often people fall in love with (and date) someone who lives in a city different from that of their own. Sometimes, people have to move to a different town or city away from the one they love. This is often for educational or job purposes. These days it may not be just another city but a whole new country altogether. However, this does not mean that the relationship must bear the brunt of it.
We bring to you some tips to that will help you bridge the physical gap and make your long-distance relationship work.
Many couples feel that since they are far apart, they need to compensate for that by spending more time on calls. This is a bad approach. After a point, the couple will start getting possessive and things will get claustrophobic. Now that you are away, you need to understand that you cannot control everything in your partner’s life. He or she will make new friends and have a new social life. In such a situation, if you try to impose yourself all the time, it will only weaken the relationship. Give them space and remember that it is important for both of you to not get tired of loving each other.
Know about each other’s friends and family
Being in different cities would mean that you would not be meeting all the people in each other’s life. This often creates a communication gap and leads to an array of adjustment problems. The simplest way to avoid that would be to be as descriptive as possible in your calls. While one does not need to be on call for the whole day, when you are at it, put your heart and soul. At times it might get boring for you to hear a rant about a person you do not know. It is important to be patient at such times. Gossips and scandals are always fun to talk about; so do not miss out on them.
When it comes to connecting with your partner’s new life, photos and videos help. But video calls are the best in the lot as there is a real-time conversation going on along with the pictures. There is a certain amount of positivity associated with looking into the eyes of the person you love while talking to him or her. WhatsApp, Telegram, Vroom, Google Duo are some of the most popular apps that you can use for this.
Be clear on ground rules
While there is no need for you to be Sheldon (from the Big Bang Theory) and draft a relationship agreement, it is always better to have a few ground rules when you are in a long-distance relationship. These would include things like whether it is okay to go on casual dates or sleepovers with opposite-sex friends, where the commitment level of the relationship stands among other things. It is important that these rules are exclusive and if it applies to one of you, it must apply to both.
Know your limits
When you are in a relationship, you tend to know what your partner will like or dislike. If something comes up that you feel won’t be appreciated by your partner, you need to be extra careful in a long-distance relationship. The simplest thing would be to avoid doing the activity altogether. If you want to do it, tell your partner about it. The worst thing that can happen in a long-distance relationship is your partner learning such things from someone else.
It is an undeniable fact that sex is both a physical and emotional need in an individual and distance often leads to sexual tension. To deal with that it is always better to have some foreplay and talk dirty. This will include sexy puns, provocative descriptions, and sexual innuendos. These will act as the glue that will prevent you and your partner from drifting apart, no matter how large the physical distance may get.
Indulge in couple activities
Just because there are thousands of kilometres between you, it does not mean that you cannot do things together. Watch a movie together or go for a walk with your partner on call. These days there are ample opportunities to play online games together. Things like these will help to strengthen your bond as a couple.
Lean your partner’s schedule
Now, we understand that not everyone goes by the clock and your partner may not have a very definite schedule. However, having a rough idea when he or she is free will allow you to plan your couple's time better. This is all the way more important if your relationship stretches over time zones. No one likes to be disturbed when they are in the middle of something. By knowing the small and big things in your partner’s life you will be able to cement the feeling of mutual trust.
No matter how perfect you are, there will be moments when you will do things you are not proud of. It is important that you learn to confront them and tell your partner about them. If you fail to do so, the lies will build up over time. It will then be very difficult for you to save your relationship.
Overcome your loneliness
Do not allow loneliness to grasp you now that your partner is in a different city. Invest more time in yourself. You can take up a new hobby or hit the gym more often. Try to spend more quality time with your friends and family. For a healthy relationship, it is not mandatory for your lives to revolve around each other.
With these few tips, it is possible to tackle the long-distance relationship with maturity and ensure that both of you remain happy in it. After all, distance is only a number and should not come in your way of a ‘happily ever after’ love story.